In case you haven’t been able to figure it out yet, I am passionate. And, as I am always telling people, that is full-spectrum, rip-your-throat-out to rip-your-clothes-off passion.
When I posted Best and Worst on Saturday, it was exactly as I had left it on Wednesday– unfinished and unedited. Normally, that would be fine. On Saturday, however, the note that I tacked onto the bottom of that piece painted it in a very different light than I had intended. Originally, Best and Worst was supposed to be about self-reflection and meant as an “I’m not perfect so why do I expect that from others” kind of thing; I could choose to love the people in my life as they are or choose not to. I realize now that it did not read that way at all– especially after what happened with MJ.
“We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.”
― W. Somerset Maugham
We always hear people say, “[NAME] just isn’t the same as [TIME].” I have said it and I know it has been said about me. Guess what- it’s true. If you have aged or learned or experienced anything at all since you met, you have both changed.
Love is not about being or staying the same. Love is about accepting differences- in ourselves and those around us. Sometimes those differences are between you and the other person; sometimes they are between who that person was before and is now. Real, actual love makes allowances for all of that. Love is not always easy; sometimes it is, most definitely, a challenge. But, as a friend recently reminded me, LOVE is a verb. It is not something that just happens; it is something that you do.
Missing the spark? Light a damned match! Want your relationship to change? Change it! Want the person you are with to be more like the early days? Be more like you were in the early days! Be the you that he or she fell for in the first place. Flirt, give compliments, hold hands, send flowers, cook dinner, do whatever it was. Do.